Working Together as a Team
A successful relationship is egalitarian- where
no one partner is better than the other, there are no control issues, etc.
Rather, an equal partnership is where you recognize each other's strengths
and weaknesses and work together as a team. It is the acceptance of each
other for who you are, as you are.
Being Playful And Having Fun Together
Shared interests and hobbies such as travel,
gardening, or hiking alleviate boredom and is the glue that holds a relationship
together. Even folding the laundry together can be fun - it's all in your
attitude.
Laughing Together Often
Laughter is a great coping strategy when things
get tough because it relieves tension. Your ability to laugh together as
a couple allows you to bond over shared experiences - both good and bad.
It also reinforces your enjoyment of each other.
Communicating Openly
If the sharing of household chores or child-rearing
is a source of resentment, for example, sit down and work it out. Make a
list of the chores and responsibilities and negotiate a fair division of
the things you each like to do and the not so great chores between the two
of you. If you can afford it, consider hiring people to help you.
Listening Until You Hear Each Other
Avoid blanket accusations and focus on communicating
how your partner's behavior makes you feel. Instead of saying "You always,"
say "I feel." This ensures that your message will be heard and keeps the
lines of communication open. Your mutual goal should be to understand each
other.
Fighting Fair
Avoid needlessly hurting your mate with put-downs
and other spur-of-the-moment zingers. Treat your mate as your friend first,
your lover second. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't give you
the right to destroy another person's self-esteem.
Keeping Romance Alive By Openly Expressing Your
Love And Affection
Tell your mate that you love them. Give them
a hug for absolutely no reason. Kiss them like you mean it - often. Surprise
each other with little gifts, weekend getaways, or love notes in unexpected
places.
Making Time For The Relationship
Spend at least 20 minutes together a day just
talking with each other. Make time for sex as well. Not in the mood? Too
tired? Putting the energy into this aspect of your relationship will pay
dividends in the other aspects of your relationship. Make reaffirming your
connection with each other a priority in your lives. If you need more time
together, turn off the television, computer, or pager and let the answering
machine do its job.
All Of The Above
And they lived happily ever after by being committed
to making the relationship work. In the absence of fairy godmothers or any
other magic, it is up to you and your mate to use the above principles to
create your own fairy tale romance.
Edel Jarboe is
the founder of Self Help for
Her.com, an online self-help magazine helping you create a better life.
She also publishes a free weekly newsletter, which features advice on goal
setting, stress management, coping with difficult people, and overcoming
obstacles: Subscribe here
and receive a FREE stress report.
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