| How much time does it take Janet to get
her homework done each night? Is she the type of child that finishes her
homework in studyhall and on the bus ride home or does she dawdle for hours
at night, just to rush and get it done the following morning while eating
her breakfast?
Does she have prior commitments through her
church or other family obligations that may prevent or deter an activity
she has chosen? Will Janet have enough time to watch television and relax
or chat on the phone with her friends?
All of these questions should be addressed before
deciding on which activities to choose.
Putting it Down on Paper
Once you have assessed the amount of time needed
for schoolwork and other commitments, it's time to lay the activities out
on the table.
Begin with which activities Janet finds most
rewarding. Write the chosen activities down on a piece of paper and ask her
to number them by importance, number one being most important and number
four the least.
It's time to label each activity with approximate
commitment times. For example, if Janet chose dance as her most rewarding
choice, you will need to label the amount of time that this activity will
require. Most activities provide a schedule for the duration of the season.
If you don't have one, ask the instructor or coach.
Let's say that dance requires two practices
per week after school at one hour each and a recital every other Saturday
for one hour. Don't forget commute time! You've determined that for each
one hour session you will need to arrive 15 minutes early for warm ups and
it takes 15 minutes to get there and 15 minutes to get home. So you've rounded
each one hour session up to two hours of committed time.
2 hrs x 2 times per week = 4 hrs/week
plus two Saturdays per month at 2 hrs each
Do this simple exercise for each activity. Don't
get too detailed, keep it fairly simple and round up instead of down on your
times. This will allow for extra time if you need it, and we usually do!
What to Eliminate
You've determined the following from the above
exercises:
Homework: Janet is an academic child and usually
has the bulk of her homework done before she gets home from school. Whatever
isn't done is usually finished before dinner is put on the table.
Family/religion: Janet has commitments at her
place of worship once per week for one hour. She also baby-sits her little
brother every Friday night for her parents.
Private time: Janet likes to spend time with
her friends at least two times per week after school just hanging out. Sometimes
she likes to roller blade or just watch television. She has decided that
she would like to slot a few hours twice per week just for herself.
Dance: This activity, as illustrated above,
will need a commitment of 4-6 hours per week, including commute time.
Basketball: This was Janet's second choice.
Though this activity also takes up a lot of time, it is seasonal and does
not last all year.
Drama club: This is something that Janet truly
enjoys, but she has determined that her private time and her family time
are more important to her, so she has decided not to take it this year.
Ceramics: Though this was last on Janet's list
of most rewarding activities, she chose it over drama because it only requires
one hour per week after school.
Our children look to us for guidance. If we
decide to be the 'bad guy" and tell our children whether or not they may
participate in an activity, we create a negative atmosphere. By allowing
our children to be part of the decision making process, we have taught a
lesson in responsibility that will help carry them into a more productive
adulthood. By allowing Janet to be part of the final decision, rather than
being the "bad guy" yourself, you have created a win/win situation for both
you and your child.
~~~~~~
Also see:
The Better Behavior
Wheel...an upbeat, fun, and totally unique approach to child behavior
management.
Parents of ADHD/ODD Kids...Experience the thrill
of well-behaved kids overnight with this one-of-a-kind, powerful new parenting
method. Finally --a breakthrough discovery in child behavior management that
guarantees to give you well-behaved kids
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~~~~~~
Also see:
I Need More Time!
Time management tips and tricks to organize your home, kids, wardrobe, and
office.
~~~~~~
Also see:
Children's Arts
and Crafts Series
~~~~~~
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BIO: Amanda Formaro is the entrepreneurial
mother of four children. She and her husband live in southern Nevada. She
is also the owner of FamilyCorner.com Magazine at
http://familycorner.com
Amanda :-) /
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