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Women's Beauty
Mid-Life, Aw - The Wonder of It!
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us
plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no
longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see
your rear end without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and realize that it is the only time
someone will ask you to appear topless on film.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and
scream "Listen honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those will, too!"
Mid-life brings with it the wisdom to know that life throws us curves and
we're sitting on our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and
think: "For this I have stretch marks??"
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact, the only thing we can
still retain is water.
Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand
McNally...more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.
Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering
the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice
ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
But, mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.
We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but
our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge
that you have now for the body you had back then? (Tigress is going to think
about that for a minute :-D)
Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all of the wisdom and
love we've acquired......
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the
stress that builds during the day.
BREAKFAST
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
1 cup skim milk
LUNCH
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey's Kiss
AFTERNOON TEA
The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate-chip topping
DINNER
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size Supreme pizza
3 Snickers bars
LATE NIGHT SNACK
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)
REMEMBER: "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts."
Author Unknown
MORE BEAUTY
ARTICLES...>>
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