| 4 - Develop a network of reliable resources
-
Families are not biological. Surround yourself
and your child with friends you know and trust - people who care about both
of you. “Aunts” and “Uncles” and even
“Grandparents,” who are not blood-related can be just as beneficial
to your child as actual biological family members. The “family”
you create for your child can provide him or her with the same kind of love
and support as a traditional family. They can also help you with your
responsibilities as a single parent. Let them play an active role in your
child’s life. Learn to turn to your “family” when you need
a break. Nobody should have to go it alone and you will probably be able
to be a better parent by relying on your “family” of close friends
to support you and your child.
5 - Take responsibility for your life today
-
Remember whatever lead you to where you are
today, you are responsible for another life - the innocent life of a child,
who didn’t ask to be born. Your child is not responsible for the experiences
or events that made you become a single parent. Your child is completely
dependent upon you through no choice of their own. Don’t let them down
or hold them accountable for your actions (or the actions of their absent
parent). They are powerless and vulnerable to the possibly less-than-ideal
consequences they face as the child of a single parent. Your role and influence
in their life is paramount to their chances of becoming a happy, productive,
successful adult. They need you more than their words will ever tell.
6 - Set up daily rituals and regular routines
-
Your child needs stability and security. One
way to provide this is by developing a daily routine. Simple things like
- going to the park every Sunday afternoon, eating dinner together each night,
sharing a treat before nap time or reading a book together before bed every
night, will become activities that your child looks forward to and can count
on to occur with regularity.
7 - Be consistent and dependable
-
Create realistic rules and a standard of discipline
that you stick to all the time. If you’re consistent with your child,
he or she will learn what is acceptable behavior and what is not. They will
also learn what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. If
you’re dependable, they will know that they can always count on you
to help them with their homework, be there for dinner or tuck them in bed
at night. They have to be able to depend on you. You’re the most important
person in their life. Try to remember that no matter how tired you are at
the end of the day or how frustrated you may become when they’re fussy
- They need you to be there for them. You should cherish every moment with
your child - they are the best blessings on earth.
~~
Parenting in today's
society is different from when most parents grew up. The rules have changed
and the dangers to our children have increased. In desperation, parents go
to the "experts" for help and what do they tell them to do? Put their child
in time out! As Dr. Phil says: "How's that working for you?"
But don't blame the
professionals. They are products of society too. They grew up in the same
system of parenting as you did. The truth is that many don't know what to
do different either.
What we all need
as parents today are the tools and the know-how walk in a new way and find
new hope and happiness. Sound too good to be true? It's not.
The
Parenting Toolbox
Site and System is simple and quick. Work it and it works for you! Are
you ready? Click
here!
~~
© Danielle Hollister
(2000)
Danielle Hollister is the Writing Host
at BellaOnline
http://www.bellaonline.com/career/writing.html
and Publisher of BellaOnline’s Writing Zine
http://www.egroups.com/group/bellaonlinewriting
to subscribe send email to:
bellaonlinewriting-subscribe@egroups.com
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