| Parenting
OPEN LETTER TO TALK
SHOWS
Attention Talk Shows -
There IS Another Side to Teen Parenting
Dear Television Talk
Show:
What happens when a former teen mom happens
upon a talk show that once again stereotypes teen parents? Besides her blood
boiling, she decides to do what she does best when angry, and write about
it.
I remember several years ago when I was still
quite young with a three-year-old son. The Ricki Lake show was brand new,
and, being like many other stay-at-home mothers, I tuned in to the daytime
talk shows. And much like I still do today, I found myself very upset with
one of the shows. The premise of the episode was about teen parents and went
something along the lines of those who were irresponsible and basically didn't
need to have kids. While I agreed with that much based on the cast of guests
that were featured, I didn't agree with the fact that the other side wasn't
shown. What about those who are teen parents who are great mothers and
fathers?
I was somewhat of a beginning writer then, so
I quickly fired off a long letter giving the Ricki Lake show "what for."
I followed that up with letters to teen magazines all over, offering to write
articles, or at the very least, hoping to get a Letter to the Editor published.
It was all for naught, because not only could I not garner any interest in
the subject, but no one ever replied from the talk show. My hopes at trying
to make a difference were dashed. |
| In recent years, though, I have jumped in
again on my quest to help as many teen parents as I can. And it is during
this quest that I am horrified to see the talk shows still feel the need
to portray all teen parents as stupid, irresponsible, ignorant, unfit parents.
Shows like the ones that call themselves, "I'm a teen parent and don't know
who my baby's father is" and "I'm only 14 and I want a baby" only show one
side of the story. All teen parents aren't sleeping around or trying to get
pregnant - some of us/them ended up as parents for many other reasons that
had nothing to do with having sex with several partners, or even nothing
to do with not using protection. If adult pregnancies can occur due to birth
control methods failing, why is that so impossible to believe about
teens?
What's worse is the fact that many believe teen
parents will never amount to anything. But if society can't believe in teen
parents, how can they believe in themselves? By portraying all teen parents
as having doomed futures, it does nothing to help society want to offer a
hand. Talk shows don't show how positive a teen parent can be; they don't
feature teen parents who have done excellent jobs with their children. No,
instead, if you go by what is featured on talk shows, we/they are all
welfare-hungry, uneducated, sorry excuses for human beings. We can't possibly
raise wonderfully, bright children, according to them. We're all bad.
I realize the talk shows aren't the best sources
of information to begin with, what with other topics all about cheating and
who's whose boyfriend/girlfriend, but when you consider what number of the
population actually tunes into these shows each day, it means something to
many of us who are being portrayed negatively. From teen fathers to teen
mothers, neither receives a fair assessment. No one person should ever be
judged based on the actions of others. I was a mother at the age of fourteen
after having grown up abused. Therefore, it was automatically assumed that
with those two strikes against me, I was destined to be a horrible abusive
mother. On the contrary, my son, along with his two siblings, is one of the
best children you could come across. Each of my children, two of whom were
born while I was still a teen, the third born in my very early twenties,
is bright, positive about themselves, and a wonderful child. None will grow
up with memories of hatred toward them from the parent who is supposed to
love them, and all will grow up self-confident. Not bad for a mom who gave
birth the first time so early in her life.
So why have my letters to other talk shows never
been answered? Why is it not cool to feature teen parents like myself who
have actually done a great job? And even worse, why is it when someone finds
out about myself or another fine teen parent, they assume we are just different
than most? Do you know why? It's because of the portrayal on TV, mainly the
talk shows. It all comes around full-circle.
Teen pregnancy and parenting might always be
frowned upon, and I certainly don't endorse purposely becoming a teen parent,
but many find themselves in the situation regardless. The only avoidance
is abstinence, but when that fails, we are always at risk of a new life of
parenting. However, unlike the stereotype, many will be great parents, go
on to complete his or her education, and build wonderful lives for themselves.
Stop portraying teen parents in the negative light, and spotlight those who
are doing wonderful jobs. Do a real show of real teen parents - not just
those who make the rest of us look bad. By continuing with this current trend,
you only make yourselves appear more ignorant. In the end, good always wins
over, and all the great teen parents will make themselves known.
~~~
As a mother you
may also be interested in the
Pc-Tattletale Parental
Control Software. This software monitors everything your child does
online!
~~~
Sincerely,
Angela Giles Klocke, A (Former) Teen Parent
Angela Giles Klocke
(agklocke@klockepresents.com)
is the founder of One Young Parent
(http://www.oneyoungparent.com),
a "helping hand up" organization for teen and young parents.
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