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Breakups.com
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| Romance
& Relationships
When
Love Ends
By Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru
Unless you are one of those fortunate few who met their
soulmate in grade school, married right out of high school, and spent the
next 60 years in wedded bliss you are going to go through what millions before
you have gone through, and what millions after you will go through - a broken
heart. The pain experienced during a breakup is as individual as the millions
of people who go through it. While some simply shake the dust off and get
right back into the dating game, others are left so devastated that they
never date again, spending the rest of their life in bitter solitude. Why
the difference? Could some of us just be stronger than others? Do some people
love harder than others? Are some loves more connected than others?
For most of us who
experience a breakup a normal grieving period will occur: Denial and Isolation,
Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. But for some, the
grief and devastation are so severe that they end up hospitalized, and even
suicidal. Others remain either bitter or so afraid of getting hurt that they
never date again, closing off their hearts to just about everyone. Yet, some
don't even grieve at all, subconsciously choosing to simply transfer their
feelings for one person immediately onto that of another person in what is
called a rebound relationship. |
|
| Why
the variation? Well, a lot of it has to do with our loving style. There are
many loving styles ranging from the very healthy, to the desperately needy.
While one person may love another in a supportive and healthy way, another
person may cling onto their mate simply as a way to fix what they imagine
to be wrong with themselves. They use their partner as a method of dealing
with their own imagined inadequacies or feelings of unworthiness - feeling
good only as long as they are in the relationship. Others simply like the
'high' of being in love. This high becomes addictive to them and they hop
from one relationship instantly into another - often times head-over-heels
in love by the second date. They recklessly seek 'love' much as an addict
will seek a 'fix', and are often so in need of being in love that they imagine
their partners to have all the qualities they are looking for in a mate -
whether their partners actually possess these qualities or not. Still others
simply surrender themselves into their relationships quickly losing themselves
and their own sense of individuality, becoming 'the relationship'. Should
the relationship end, then shall they, too.
A
healthy view of oneself, one's partner, and one's relationship is essential
to withstanding the ups, and downs, in our eternal search for that special
someone to share our lives with.
~by Tigress Luv, the Breakup
Guru
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